Sex and The (Toxi)City: A Review

It is 2023. I am swiping through Instagram for the latest news on my iPhone 14. I sifted through photos of my friend’s kids, trending Reels, TheShadeRoom, Dj Khaled’s shenanigans and unexpectedly a TMZ post featuring the aging faces of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrall.

“Kim Catrall set to make a cameo in ‘And just like that’ ”.

I am suddenly transported to my childhood apartment bedroom that I shared with my Irish Twin sister. It is 2012. We are in High School. We are binge watching Sex and The City episodes while we eat our dinner in our respective beds. We are harshly criticizing Miranda’s consistently awkward appearance, we are scoffing at the unrealistic depiction of Manhattan and its real estate prices, and we are rolling our eyes at Carrie’s insufferable personality.

This blast from the past persuades me to relive my glory years by not only revisiting the series, but by also force feeding a Sex and the City marathon on my boyfriend. After all, forcing your boyfriend to watch Sex in the City is a traditional relationship milestone.

We similarly criticized Miranda’s awkwardness. We also scoffed at the unrealistic depiction of Manhattan. We simultaneously rolled our eyes at Carrie’s insufferable personality.

While we indulged in my silly television endeavor, something my matured and experienced eye quickly took note of just how toxic the entire Sex and the City franchise actually is. I couldn’t help but analyze it much differently than I had as a teenager. With an aged millennial fine toothed comb

Let’s begin with the plot of this show. For 6 entire seasons, Carrie Bradshaw relentlessly chases a man that is the very definition of wrong. They endure cheating scandals, engagements, marriages, relocating, commitment issues and more. Somewhere in season 3 you start to throw your hands up in disbelief that the “Mr. Big” storyline is back.

Then the first movie debuts. Carrie is engaged to Mr. Big and planning her dream wedding. She is in Vogue Bride. She is in the newspapers. She is dressed by Vera fucking Wang. All of this just to be (un)surprisingly stood up by the Groom himself! Mr. Big!

If 6 seasons and a runaway groom weren't enough signs from God that these two were absolutely NOT meant for each other, what hope would the rest of us who are not a conventionally attractive white woman in a rent controlled apartment in the most expensive city in the world have?

After the theatrics of leaving Carrie at the altar, they (Unsurprisingly again) reconcile and elope modestly at a church. Boo tomatoes, boo tomatoes.

Her underwhelming dynamic with her inconsistent husband is arguably the least toxic aspect of the series. I have multiple qualms with this show.

The hyper-sexualization of Samantha was a pivotal part of the show in a time where media was opening up to female promiscuity. Samantha’s character boasts a high sex drive and a shameless, casual approach to dating that many of us (me included) not only envied, but idolized.

I am not ashamed to say I wanted to be Samantha when I was just learning about myself and my sexuality. I wanted to feel empowered and confident with my sexual choices and lead with my vagina and not my heart. I admired her

Now as a quickly approaching 30 year old, I am actually clutching my pearls at the Samantha character. I am all for women owning their sexuality, but I found something extremely problematic with how inorganically they shoved Samantha in our faces. It was just too easy to view Samantha as a balancing character to Charlotte’s Virgin Mary persona, or Miranda’s forced heterosexuality (when they really should have just left her as the lesbian she is). Not to mention, the negligent disregard for promoting safe sex with her reckless sexual behavior. They even had the audacity to dedicate an entire episode to Samantha’s reluctance to test purely out of fear she MIGHT have something, further perpetuating the dangerous stigmas around STDs/STIs.

We circle back to Carrie because as noted in the beginning, she is insufferable. I mean truly insufferable. Nearly every word scripted out of her mouth is a thinly veiled attempt to redirect the energy of everyone and everything directly back to her and her toxic dynamics with men.

Here is a very slightly exaggerated scene when Miranda announces her pregnancy:

Miranda: “Hey everyone! I am pregnant”

Carrie: “Now you have a big (belly), and I have a Big! Yep! That's right, we're back together!”

End scene.

This dramatization is not far from how every conversation in the show goes. Carrie Bradshaw is a self-absorbed cunt and a terrible friend.

I didn’t let the self imposed torture stop there.

After watching the second film (and cringing every second that they allowed Miranda to be the United Arab Emirates ambassador for the trip), I streamlined right into the “And Just Like That” series.

*SPOILER ALERTS BELOW*

“And Just Like That” is the follow-up of Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda at about 55 years of age. Yes you read correctly, Samantha is not in this series, citing pay issues and unfair treatment. This ties into my intro where they announced that Samantha (Kim Catrall) will make a cameo on the series. The silly TMZ headline that catapulted me into this blackhole of toxic relationships.

My first gripe with this chapter is that they kill off Big in the very first episode.This treacherous woman chased this mediocre looking white man for 6 entire seasons and 2 films for them to kill him off in 35 mins. Yep. They did that.

My second gripe is that Stanfords character (Willie Garson) actually dies in real life. Although he had pancreatic cancer, I feel like this cancerous reboot is truly to blame. They then had the audacity to write his character out of the series by dramatically divorcing Anthony and moving to Tokyo. Like… are the writers even trying at this point?

Moving past those two immediate indiscretions, the entire series is just a feeble and lazy attempt at addressing all of the socio-political issues of today. This trend is in every single new series as the producers try desperately to convince us that they aren't racist or homophobic, and for some reason, the more they try, the less convinced I am.

The original series was an (inaccurate) representation of dating in the city back then. You watched these 4 hags navigate the dating scene in a plethora of ways that seemed to be relevant to society at the time because it quickly became a hit show. This new series is watching the entire cast offensively navigate socializing with black people and Miranda entering her lesbian era which should have started at Sex and The City Season 1, episode 1, minute 1. As I mentioned earlier, forcing heterosexuality on Cynthia Nixon was just inorganic. I cringed at every sex scene where they made her tiddys bounce up and down on an average joe male actor. Truly an injustice and I sincerely believe she deserves to be compensated more for it.

After almost being relieved that Big is dead and can literally not return to the show in any form other than haunting Carrie as ghost, you hope that the trend of recycling ex boyfriends has finally come to an end..... Not at this show! Carrie embarrassingly spins the block on Aiden with a desperate e-mail ploy. Who would've thought! The guy everyone wanted her to forget Big over. The guy she cheated on with Big. The guy she left for Big. The guy we all thought she was an asshole for fumbling has returned. If you were going to kill Big off, you could've at least gave this menopausal woman a shot at a fresh new man. Not the man who's life and self esteem she single handedly ruined just to be continuously played by a geriatric finance guy. To me, Carrie Bradshaw is a glaring narcissist and it is proven time and time again.

Everything about this franchise is just simply toxic. From the on-screen dynamics, to the off-screen cast drama. I do not believe this has or will ever be an authentic representation of dating, friendship, or life. It is exhausting to repeatedly see these representations on the screen and I look forward to a day where we don't highlight poor behavior, stereotypical and unhealthy relationships, and sacrificing happiness for the pursuit of love.

We deserve better relationships and better binge-able shows.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.